1. FOOTBALL SCRUMS
Sniffing bums in football scrums
Look out boys, here we come!
I’ll motherfuck your fatherfuck
‘cos cock is proud and cunt’s uncool,
meatpies, kangaroos and cars
any excuse to stick it up their arse.
No shit, cut the crap
have another anal fetish. No way I’m gay
bull to the planet female
beat shit out of ’em if they complain.
Loves every minute of it,
greatest creature on earth,
bleeds for a week and doesn’t die.
Don’t put shit on me
blow it out your arse
2. FISHING TRIP REPLAYS
Check the rods, I’ll grab the coldies
don’t want to be up shit creek
without ‘em for the game.
Ah, the crowd’s gettin’ fair up ‘em.
They’re sniffing bums in the scrum again.
Violent? ram it up yer Khyber,
you sound like an old woman.
What are yer?
Even the missus loves it,
loves every minute, dipshit,
shit for brains most of the time.
Beat the crap out of ‘er if she complains.
Don’t lay that shit on me, arselicker,
blow it out yer old dirt track racing.
A little touch up now and then
reminds ‘em not to shit in their own nests.
Violent? pass us another tube, mate.
Get one into ya, shove it up ya.
Don’t yer love this shit.
Wait till half time.
Yer ain’t seen fuck-all yet.
3. POOL-ROOM RAPE AT THE BELLA MARIA PUB
Who’ll be first to commit another unoriginal sin?
Whip it in, whip it out and wipe it on the curtain.
Could hardly wait till after the game (Canterbury won)
to spread ‘er legs in the back bar
with the boys from Woop Woop.
Not on the pool table, it’ll spoil the roll.
She’ll be right, mate, she’s pissed
and askin’ for it, faceless.
Get a bloody move on, start the engine.
There’s life in ’er yet, I’ll run my hormones
all over ‘er.
Aussie foreplay, are you awake?
Last one out, turn off the light.
Not as good as the stripper
at the annual dinner last night,
but she’ll be right, mate, she’ll be right.