Beyond The Fringe

Here’s a novel animated history of the wars of the world satirised by food fights. An explanation for those who don’t comprehend the menu can be found here.

From one of our favourite and very whimsical cartoonists, Doug Savage, comes this delightful visual comment.

It’s our view that kids primarily learn violence modelling ignorant, thuggish parents and other adult social contacts.

Media is scapegoated by adults unable to understand or control their own tempers, politicians and powermongering self-righteous lobbies who benefit from the preservation of an irrational, unenlightened polity.

Scavenged from Pharangula, this delightfully symbolic piece from the planet’s premier throwback fertility cult stimulated gales of laughter in the Fringe residence. We do try always to look on the brighter side of life

Some of the hysterical captions proposed thus far:

“Jesus is the way, the wang, and the light.”

“Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.”

“Flip my switch and be enlightened.”

“Jesus loves the little children….”

“Suffer the little children to come unto me.”

“Children turn me on.”

“Jesus was hung so that we may see the light.”

For more delectable examples of primitive Catholic folk art and wonderful satire knifing credulous Catho devotees visit the seminal Madonna of the Toast site. The most recent post, examining the divine significance of peculiarly shaped pretzels is funny! There’s easy eBay bucks to be found in your local supermarket.

Kerry O’Brien’s delightful gaffe that there was ‘a swing to the ABC’ in Bennelong aroused our elated mirth at the woes of the rodent as the eloquent and lovely Maxine McKew looked poised to take his seat. The presence of the Chaser team in the outer election commentary area and prior interview of a non-committal Craig Reucassel had perhaps influenced his thoughts.

For the government under Rudd will be certain to attend to the needs of our ailing dear Aunty, debilitated by the mercantilist, corporate media influenced, wowserish rodent pack. Essential to the health of our similarly diseased democracy, our ABC is headed for better days.

Around the nation as the landslide results became clear, the joy was palpable. We were swilling our third bottle of pink champagne by the time Howard belatedly conceded defeat, advertising as he did so from the podium sticker that he was beholden to Sofitel Wentworth, in probable future Lieberal leader, Malcolm Turnbull’s electorate, for their hospitality to his wake. His farewell speech was lengthy, pompous and whiny, the gluttonous prime miniature scraping the barrel for the limelight he has craved to the detriment of his own party.

A 6% swing against the Lieberals with the loss of 26 seats so far and Howard likely to lose Bennelong mean the wolves will be feasting on dwarf carcass for some time. 88 Labor seats are predicted at this stage. We are pleased that Fringe readers were perspicacious, with 82% polling Team Rodent would lose.

Good riddance, little Johnny, and may you slink away from public life completely, not to reemerge in the form of a vocal statesman like your more admirable counterpart, Malcolm Fraser. And farewell, Costello, always a bridesmaid and never a bride, your career tainted by rodent droppings and a general lack of guts and ambition. We will never forget how you sold off Whorestralia’s gold reserves BEFORE the gold boom, or removed capital gains tax for foreign investors whilst offering no such relief to us locals.

Rudd’s victory address was littered with painful slogans, directed at the average yob who will today be examining their assets and debts in light of more imminent interest rate rises. Yet at least, Whorestralia can now revel in the fact that we can as a nation participate in enlightened ventures like the signing of the Kyoto treaty, removing our soldiers from Bush’s sordid Iraq debacle and repairing the public health and education sectors. All worthy of foregoing tax bribes for!

The restoration of Whorestralian workers’ protections and rights may have to wait till next July, when the Senate will fall to a Labor majority, though we would not be surprised if the some of remnants of the imploded Lieberals turn tail on their former dearly beloved dwarf leader’s draconic industrial policies.

Good luck to you, Kevvie … and keep the light shining. Breathing multiple sighs of relief, we won’t have to leave the country in disgust after all.

Nuff said

No point waffling on to the blurgaverse when one is overwhelmed by post-viral horrors, a foul, swampish sense of being shafted by the abdicated Peter Beattie over the forced and greatly despised council amalgamations, predictable stock market slumps and recoveries, and mammoth work and play commitments. It’s not as though one has millions of avid readers complaining about the Fringe’s absence, and neither does the Fringe care.

Of all these tribulations, it is Beattie’s intransigence which most peeves us. For nights we pore over the dry old Australian constitution and conclude the only solution permissible in our defence is to form a new state to encompass our local water resources. A friend however points out that we would have no chance of defending our precious water should the profligate hordes further south whine that their swimming pools need filling. They could simply send in the military. Still, as a media event, and as a protest against the scything of our grassroots democratic representation and mutilation of our local identity and sustainability, for which Noosa just won a UNESCO award, it needs to be done.

Rudd’s popularity sank with the impact of Beattie’s ill-considered attack, and has now recovered, helped by little Johnny Moron’s pathetic flailings about the hospital systems amongst other gaffs. People have had enough of their irksome prime monster and all going well, and a few marginal seats lost, and even his own seat to Maxine McHugh, Howard will be out on his ear, dumped like a dead cat with no bounce. Then again, who knows what the malevolent rodent will pull out of the hat at the last minute. Nothing has turned out well for him of late though. At APEC, an event where his mighty miniatureness rubbed shoulders as he so loves, with the doyen of world leaders, he was joyously upstaged by the wonderful Chaser team, who will face charges this week for successfully and mischievously crossing the barrier between the people and those who rule from afar.

Our best wishes are with them this week - and may humour triumph over all adversity.

Feral news since tamed somewhat from the crazy wild west of the United Stupids - according to the BBC on the 20th:

An angry Texas crowd has beaten and killed a 40-year-old car passenger after a driver injured a young girl near the site of a busy local festival.

Police said the driver of the car had stopped to check on the health of the girl, said to be aged three or four.

But when the passenger got out to see how she was, he was set upon by a group of up to 20 people before being left lying in a car park, police said.

The girl was hit at low speed and was not seriously injured.

The incident took place at the Juneteenth Festival in Austin, Tackysuss. This festival commemorates the freeing of American slaves.

As stunning as the murder were the dismissive comments of the police spokesperson:

“Mr Morales could have been assaulted by two to 20 folks,” said Harold Piatt, from the Austin police department.

“It’s that same crowd mindset of being one face in 1,000. Things get out of hand pretty quickly and people don’t have the good sense to stop.”

The Austin Police Department backpedalled a day later with this story, attempting to dissociate the festival with the murder and blaming themselves for release of exaggerated information.

Morales was murdered Tuesday as Juneteenth festivities were winding down.

He was beaten by men in the parking lot of Booker T. Washington Terrace.

Police first said thousands were in the area, and six to 23 people attacked Morales.

APD then said those numbers didn’t add up, adding officers initially released “bad information.”

…

“We are looking for three or four people responsible for this tragic assault,” said city Assistant Manager Michael McDonald.

Apparently amongst 3 or 4 local yokels, the southern lynch mob mentality still flourishes. An insidious culture of violence also appears to permeate the APD.

8 days since the attack, no arrests have been made. Is this a case of dem good ole tacky boys sticking together?

Austin hit the news again a couple of days later when an old story about a 9 years old girl found living amongst rodents in a ‘haunted’ house was exhumed by the necrophilic US media.

In late 1994, and again in January 1995, phone calls were made to the Austin division of Child Protective Services. A young CPS worker responded to the complaints and spoke to the Barrs at their house. The worker left without giving a report to his seniors or outlining a safety plan. But in October 1995, a third report of “unlivable” conditions at the house was made to CPS.

According to a neighbor, rats were “living in a nest on the front porch” and “climbing up the screen door.” Those eerie moaning noises that echoed through the streets were still being heard several times a week.

CPS dispatched a second worker to follow up. After making an initial visit, the worker documented concerns about the safety conditions in the home and wrote a brief safety plan for the Barrs. After the worker said that CPS would follow up and make additional home visits, the worker left. For the next two years, the Barrs remained in the home, undisturbed by CPS and their neighbors.

…

In October of 1997, a fourth call complaining about the living conditions at the house was placed to CPS, and a worker once again responded. And a child who few knew existed was finally removed from the home. This “wild child” had never gone to school, or played outdoors. The girl was a 9-year-old named Victoria.

Was the lack of intervention by authorities culturally determined and an example of the United Stupids’ rightard siege mentality? Dem good ole tacky boys in the gun lovin’ polite south do like to keep to themselves.

An hilarious skit on Howard’s current craven posturing on climate change:

Hot news sent to us from a friend in the know in Nebraska -

Lynchburg - Scandal struck the Falwell family today when a secret will was discovered leaving most of his estate to Tinky-Winky the Teletubby.

Rumors that the Reverend Falwell had carried on a secret affair with the television star were vehemently denied by Falwell’s family, which is contesting the will in court. Family spokesman Totle Biggit announced, “There was no affair. Reverend Falwell may have spent time with Tinky-Winky, but only to bring him the word of the Lord. He was always reaching out to media figures in an attempt to save them from evil influences. Whether it was weekend spiritual retreats in Key West with Tinky-Winky, going to Streisand concerts with Big Bird or watching gladiator movies with Bert and Ernie, Reverand Falwell did whatever it took to spread the good word.”

Tinky-Winky himself only recently came forward with his tale of a secret and stormy affair, “Publicy he denied me three times before the cock crowed, but he always came crawling back with his endearing little “I don’t know how to quit you.’ He may have engaged in some verbal gay bashing, but secretly he hated all forms of gay bashing, unless you count all the times he tied me up and went at me with the cat-o-nine tails. Truly ours was the love that dare not speak its name.”

When asked about some of the Reverend’s more controversial comments, Tinky-Winky responded, “I know it sounds strange but deep down he was a kind person who felt horrible about the things he had to say publicly. He did it to keep his followers happy and the money rolling in. He didn’t really think gays were responsible for 9-11, he knew it was all the fault of the Catholics and the Jews.”

We have no problem whatsoever speaking ill of the dead Moral Moronity leader Falwell.

He was a particularly noxious far right-winger - a gay bashing, apartheid supporting bigot. Falwell’s lambasting of Tinky Winky can only be described as bizarre. Yet those who protest the loudest about moral depravity almost invariaby have hidden, smutty secrets - thus we can speculate with glee about Falwell’s hidden proclivities.