We love this very funny spoof which will appeal to everyone appreciating a good belly laugh at the expense of our darling prime monster and his merry mobsters.
Populate and Perish
“the human population is out of control
unfortunately, it looks like we are in for a cull
the odds are stacked against us
it’s like a constipated pizza eating champ
or a rolling stones groupie…
she’s gonna blow”
Sarcophagus, 3/2/07 (quoted with permission)
Whilst many run round like headless chooks, either in denial or desperately quoting biblical prophecy to comfort themselves that after the horrific end times *they* will be saved by their manufactured insane sky fairy and thus can continue to worship their deity’s gifts of very large motor cars and luxury homes, breeding a bevy of more insatiable humans just like them and indulging in other nihilistic foibles – wars, colonialism, corruption and social inequality – which have created majorly the planetary ecological collapse, others have the courage to tackle the situation head on. The recent Inter-governmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) conference considers that global warming will impact on developing countries the most.
“The average temperature of the Earth is set to rise by a whopping 3 degrees C this century if greennhouse gas emissions are not curbed significantly. The Stern review of 2006 issued by the UK government highlighted that the 3 degree C temperature rise would translate into severe water shortages and lower crop yields around the world, with climate change already causing setbacks to economic and social progress in developing countries.”
Yet it is the developed countries which cause the lion’s share of carbon emissions. How to change the intemperate habits of lifetimes within the short period of time available for damage control? Choices available to governments are cynically restricted when political careers depend on presenting goodies, not hardships, to voters. And the third world, whose industrialisation follows the western model will undoubtedly speed up global warming manifold, is unlikely to adopt adequate measures to curb temperature or population growth.
An Upper and a Downer
Finally, David Hicks’ plight is hitting the US media with more prominence, helping to ratchet up the shame on the presidential chimp and his brownshirt zookeepers. And the ALP have petitioned Nancy Pelosi for his release – excellent move!
“As members of the Australian Parliament, we ask that members of the US Congress take steps to bring about to the return to Australia of Australian citizen David Hicks, – a detainee held at Guantanamo Bay for more than five years – for prosecution here,” the letter says.”We believe that the denial of justice in David Hicks’ case erodes values and principals shared by Australia and the US.
“We are also concerned that the ongoing absence of justice in David Hicks’ case is serving to undermine international efforts to combat terrorism.”
Mr Hicks’ lawyers claimed today that the Australian was shown a photo of Saddam Hussein hanging from a rope after his execution.
Photos of the former Iraqi leader’s trial also were shown to Mr Hicks and other inmates held at the US military’s Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba.
Showing the photos and articles breached the Geneva Conventions designed to protect prisoners of war, his lawyers said.
Greens leader Bob Brown said the showing of the pictures was “premeditated torture”.
“The Hicks saga goes from bad to worse,” Senator Brown said.
“The Guantanamo Bay horror is based on unlawful behaviour and sadistic practice by the jailers.”
Senator Brown said US Vice-President Dick Cheney would have a lot to answer for when he visited Australia this month.
“The Howard government is not an innocent bystander, it is equally responsible,” Senator Brown said.”
Little Johnny, the chimp’s biggest fan, is now facing an electorate wherein “62 percent of Australians oppose the way the Iraq war has been handled.” I think that’s an underestimate.
The ludicrous antics of Howard lackey, Alexander Downer in response to the unfortunate Kafkesque plight of Hicks, are etched with acid by Barry Everingham:
John Howard – Mastermind Champ
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
KERRY O’BRIEN: And now, John Clarke and Bryan Dawe with their own version of ‘Mastermind’.
(JOHN CLARKE AS JOHN HOWARD, BRYAN DAWE AS INTERVIEWER) INTERVIEWER: Your special subject is John Howard.
Your time starts now.
What will John Howard never bring in ever?
JOHN HOWARD: A GST.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
When did John Howard bring in a GST?
JOHN HOWARD: 1st July, 2000.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
What are weapons of mass destruction?
JOHN HOWARD: Hang on, is that George calling?
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
If you know people want a republic, how do you get them to vote against it?
JOHN HOWARD: You ask them to vote for a republic where they don’t get to vote for the president.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
What is the Kyoto agreement?
JOHN HOWARD: Something to do with coal pricing.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
What is the environment?
JOHN HOWARD: Pass.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
What were being thrown overboard into the sea just before the last election?
JOHN HOWARD: Nothing.
INTERVIEWER: I beg your pardon, I’m sorry, I misread that question.
What did John Howard say were being thrown overboard into the sea just before the election?
JOHN HOWARD: The children of asylum seekers.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
And what did he do to prove it?
JOHN HOWARD: Showed film of it not happening.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
And who told him the children were being thrown into the sea?
JOHN HOWARD: The Defence Minister said he had been told that by the Navy.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
And what did the Minister for Defence do when the Navy denied that?
JOHN HOWARD: He resigned and got a job selling defence contracts to the Australian Government.
INTERVIEWER: And was there a conflict of interest involved?
JOHN HOWARD: No, it was Peter Reith.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
What about some of the other people in the Howard ministry when they retired?
Where have they retired to?
JOHN HOWARD: They’ve got jobs with companies dealing in the area where they used to be the minister.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
And would this have been worked out beforehand?
JOHN HOWARD: Shut your face.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
What does the expression ‘integrity’ mean?
JOHN HOWARD: I’m sorry, can you repeat the question?
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
If you made a promise and don’t keep it, what is it?
JOHN HOWARD: A non-core promise.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
Who can get married in Australia?
JOHN HOWARD: Marriage is between men and women.
INTERVIEWER: What if they don’t like each other?
JOHN HOWARD: It doesn’t matter if they hate each other’s guts, as long as one of them is a man and one of them is a woman.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
Why don’t we have to listen to senior members of the Defence community criticise the Government on defence?
JOHN HOWARD: Because they’re too old.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
Why don’t we have to listen to ex-public servants criticising the Government’s use of research information?
JOHN HOWARD: Well, they’re the scum of the earth, aren’t they, public servants?
INTERVIEWER: Can you be more specific?
JOHN HOWARD: Get stuffed.
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
And at the end of the round, your house is worth three times what you paid for it.
JOHN HOWARD: My house is worth three times what I paid for it!
INTERVIEWER: Congratulations!
JOHN HOWARD: Thanks.
Oh, fantastic!
INTERVIEWER: Low interests rates — you’re worth a bloody fortune.
JOHN HOWARD: Jeez, he’s great, that John Howard, isn’t he?
INTERVIEWER: Correct.
KERRY O’BRIEN: ‘Mastermind’ a la John Clarke and Bryan Dawe.
Kev at the Rudder
Labor is way ahead in the polls at present and Kevin Rudd is already delineating the positives his ALP team has to offer the people of Australia – fairness in jobs, education and health and a long term workable plan for the environment.
He rightly points out the disgrace that our manufacturing sector has become under Howard and highlights the solution – brain-based industries, where Australia can pull above its weight. We expect Rudd to support this profitable vision of hope by announcing a healthy revival in funding for education of ALL Australians, not just the private school toffs, and support for these industries.
Kev is an articulate, intelligent, decent fellow. He has already successfully demolished the hollow neocon laissez faire robber baron trickle down pseudo philosophies which bankrupt ordinary Australians to benefit the already stinking rich, illustrating how immoral and hypocritically anti-family they are.
We don’t foresee any further encumbrances for the ALP – the party will unify under Rudd and totally annihilate Team Rodent at the next election.