The Dreaded Drop Bears of Oz

Dropbear

Be afraid, be very afraid …. this fearsome furry denizen feasts upon unwary visitors to Australia.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

(supposedly posted on an Australian Tourism website.)

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Chaser team to be chastised and chastened?

No point waffling on to the blurgaverse when one is overwhelmed by post-viral horrors, a foul, swampish sense of being shafted by the abdicated Peter Beattie over the forced and greatly despised council amalgamations, predictable stock market slumps and recoveries, and mammoth work and play commitments. It’s not as though one has millions of avid readers complaining about the Fringe’s absence, and neither does the Fringe care.

Of all these tribulations, it is Beattie’s intransigence which most peeves us. For nights we pore over the dry old Australian constitution and conclude the only solution permissible in our defence is to form a new state to encompass our local water resources. A friend however points out that we would have no chance of defending our precious water should the profligate hordes further south whine that their swimming pools need filling. They could simply send in the military. Still, as a media event, and as a protest against the scything of our grassroots democratic representation and mutilation of our local identity and sustainability, for which Noosa just won a UNESCO award, it needs to be done.

Rudd’s popularity sank with the impact of Beattie’s ill-considered attack, and has now recovered, helped by little Johnny Moron’s pathetic flailings about the hospital systems amongst other gaffs. People have had enough of their irksome prime monster and all going well, and a few marginal seats lost, and even his own seat to Maxine McHugh, Howard will be out on his ear, dumped like a dead cat with no bounce. Then again, who knows what the malevolent rodent will pull out of the hat at the last minute. Nothing has turned out well for him of late though. At APEC, an event where his mighty miniatureness rubbed shoulders as he so loves, with the doyen of world leaders, he was joyously upstaged by the wonderful Chaser team, who will face charges this week for successfully and mischievously crossing the barrier between the people and those who rule from afar.

Our best wishes are with them this week – and may humour triumph over all adversity.