Posted on by Jin

Ratty and Doodoo’s People Swap Club

People Poker

The ties and lies that bind between Asstralia and the United Stupids have been strengthened again with the launch of a brand new rodential caper – people trafficking.

Harnessing the blood-curdling imagination of Andrew Metcalfe, Immigration Department Secretary, the odiferous rodent has driven a hard bargain with accomplice Doodoo. Whorestralia will rid itself of those embarrassing unwanted Sri Lankan and Burmese cue-jumping boaties holidaying at taxpayers’ expense in the lovely detention resort in Nauru, where the locals are sick and tired of their already plundered country being treated as a human rubbish dump, in exchange for the United Stupids’ excess human baggage – Cuban and Haitian refugees.

This sordid deal works out splendidly for both imperialistic scoundrels, as it plays well electorally to the paranoid barbarian hordes in both their beknighted kingdoms. For Whorestralian xenophobes, Cubans and Haitians would seem almost American, especially if they are a sacred gift from King Doodoo himself. And, hallelujah brother, they are not Asians and therefore probably not dreaded Muffy followers. In fact, if not voodoo adherents, they’re most likely Catholic.

Did anyone bother asking any of these desperate people where they would rather live before they were traded like stamps?

Whilst Asstralian refugee rejects may not mind ending their arduous voyage and imprisonment with a free ticket to the United Stupids, and existing illicit people smugglers rejoice at a chance of increased demand and profits, it is dubious whether Cubans and Haitians would wish to travel to the other side of the globe to settle, with minimal future contact with relatives and friends. This raises the possibility that Doodoo’s gangsters are anticipating a lovely rampage in Cuba after Castro’s death, resulting in many Cubans fleeing the country for the United Stupids. Is Whorestralia being lined up to be a convenient human dumping ground for the human consequences of future US excesses in their interminable, tyrannical pursuit of unfettered mercantilism, grotesquely disguised as usual as those lofty tenets, freedom and democracy?

3 Replies to “Ratty and Doodoo’s People Swap Club”

  1. Our idyllic continent was ruined essentially from the Pommy invasion in 1770 onward, with colonial imports of unsuitable hard foot four footed beasts – sheep and cattle, and their gluttonous, avaricious owners, whose wasteful, exploitative habits thrive to this day.

    How about we only accept refugees who actually need to escape cruel, harsh conditions and refuse entry to folks from the developed world who are well off and quite safe where they are?

    What if those refugees were *your* family members? or would you snicker and rejoice as they were refused entry and sent home to be murdered by oppressive regimes or perhaps killed in wars created in their countries by first world nations in their greed for oil and power?

  2. reffo’s can fuck off, we’re full.
    they come here and turn our country into the living hells they left behind.

  3. Reactions from asylum rights groups of note. Sidoti agrees with our thoughts that the scheme *is* people trafficking.

    International Service for Human Rights chief executive Chris Sidoti says the refugee agreement violates basic humanitarian principles.

    Australian officials say the arrangement would see mainly Asian refugees intercepted on their way to Australia and considered for resettlement in the US.

    In return, Cuban and Haitian asylum seekers hoping to settle in the United States could be sent to Australia.

    The United States has defended the plan, and says its impact has been overexaggerated, as it will involve less than 200 people a year.

    But Mr Sidoti says it raises a series of humanitarian concerns and could also violate international law.

    “This involves Australia in people trafficking,” he said.

    “People trafficking involves the forcible or involuntary movement of people across international boundaries for profit.

    “This was certainly the case in relation to the Pacific Solution with Papua New Guinea and Nauru where we paid significant commercial credits and advantages and money to particularly Nauru’s struggling states.

    “There seems to be advantages to at least the United States in this particular agreement.”

    Deal criticised by Cuban refugees

    A Cuban refugee advocacy group has also cast doubt on Australian government claims that the arrangement will help deter people-smugglers.

    However Camilla Gallardo, of the Cuban American National Foundation, says Cuban asylum seekers would be delighted to resettle in Australia.

    “Cubans continue to leave the island because they don’t have freedom in Cuba,” she said.

    “I think that anywhere that they can live in democracy and be free to express themselves and how they can provide for their families and certainly they can do that in Australia.”

    The federal opposition Labor party has suggested the plan could lead to more illegal immigrants arriving in Australia, with a view to ultimately applying for asylum in the United States.

    Maybe that’s the rodent’s hiddent agenda? to encourage more boat people leading up to the election so he can again relish and exploit the xenophobic responses – ‘look, more boatpeople! don’t worry, we’ll save you … they’re off to our good ole friends, the USA’.

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